Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Artist Member Dark Riddle / Jesus MoralesMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 829 Deviations 887 Comments 13,063 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Critiques

Sunny days by Kate-FoX

We rarely see works of art that "truly" catch our eye; such as this, and rightly so. Although many critique works of the digital format...

Activity


Abeloth by darkriddle1
Abeloth
A very rough Ink design of Abeloth...A preliminary sketch I intend to base a new Abeloth photo painting on....
Loading...
TRUE STORY...Chaka Khan and the Idoicy of Men by darkriddle1
TRUE STORY...Chaka Khan and the Idoicy of Men

TRUE STORY -- “Chaka Khan – Raquel Welch – and that Giant-Mouth-Vampire Lady from Fright Night”:

...Ladies, you might see your man, talking to another man he just met, and from a distance, it seems they’re having a deep, meaningful conversation – nope; chances are, we are talking about some dumb-ass shit!!!

Case in point...I went to Ford City mall once, and I decided to chill at the food court for a while before heading back home.

There, I met another guy. Like me, he was older and a half-breed, black and white I think. He saw a thick woman eating an ice cream cone. She looked at him with a wide-mouth smile and gave a flirtatious wink.

The guy turned to me and said; “Man, if my woman wasn’t here…”

I just shrugged.

Then he said; “Bro, you ever notice women with big mouths are sexy?”

This got me thinking. I said; “You know what? You’re right…I never really noticed that before.”

I asked him, “Were you ever inexplicably attracted to the singer Chaka Khan for no reason?”

He considered my question, and then surprisingly nodded with strong enthusiasm.

“Man, fuck yeah – that woman ain’t really pretty much, but she got mad booty, big ol’ knockers, and a huge mouth with luscious lips!”

This made me think…I had no credible reason to find Chaka Khan attractive – she wasn’t my type I thought. Yet here I was, like most other dudes – strangely attracted to Chaka Khan!

Was it these insanely exaggerated feminine traits that spurred us on?” I pondered.

I was genuinely bewildered, replying; “yeah – like that lady is all boobs and teeth, dude!"

Then he hit me with something that blew my mind. An earth-shattering revelation, one that must have laid dormant in my brain - perhaps some cryptic secret only sexually-repressed men could see!?

He said; “I’m telling you, man -- I see a little Raquel Welch in Chaka Khan!
--Mind you, not the young Raquel Welch, but the older version – the way she looks now, you dig?”

And then it dawned on me…I, too, see Raquel Welch in Chaka Khan!!!

What odd madness was this!?! What sinister woman’s trickery produced this freakish phenomenon of feminine wonder?

I was about to bring up another valid point when the man’s 9-year-old son ran up to us and sat on the chair next to me. The father just gave the kid a soda and the boy slurped on the drink, while seemingly observing us rather attentively.

Then I recalled my point: I said; “Hey, you remember that Vampire lady from the old-school Fright Night flick?” To my surprise, he nodded again – this time more excited than the last.

“Yeah, man…ol’ girl had that big-ass giant mouth!” Yet the next thing he said didn’t surprise me. “…yo, but that vampire bitch was hot though, right?”

I know what my answer SHOULD have been; I should have said; NO - she was a freaking monster, man! However, he was right.

And I replied; “Yes, for some reason that crazy vampire lady was freaking hot!”

He just nodded again, saying; “I told you so, something about women with big mouths are fucking hot. …And that’s why all men want to bone Chaka Khan!!!"

By this time, the man’s wife was coming back. She had on pristine business attire and well groomed hair – obviously a career woman of sorts.

The boy and his father got up and joined her. It appeared the man’s wife was somewhat appeased that we seemed to be having a meaningful conversation in her absence.

That was until she asked her young son one simple question: “So, honey, I’m finally done shopping; what do you want to do now?"

The boy just gave us both an odd glance then looked at his mother, his face fervently aglow with new-found knowledge from observing our talk -- and with one ambitious sentence, he made his first step into manhood, as well as the world of silly chauvinistic idiocy.

“Mom…I want to Bone Chaka Khan!!!”

END

Loading...

deviantID

darkriddle1's Profile Picture
darkriddle1
Dark Riddle / Jesus Morales
Artist
United States
Dark Riddle Official Website: Link Below: For Info, Art, and Video to all things "Dark Riddle"

sliced.wikifoundry.com/page/Da…

From Wikipedia: & Wikicyclopedia:

Among the most well-known "Hypergothic" surrealist-artists and authors from the United States, "Dark Riddle" is a Chicago-based artist and author, primarily known as a popular graffiti muralist, then turned to build a fan base in the genera of science fiction and surreal horror.

He is known for book works such as Chupacabra Visions, Knight Syndrome, The Zombie Bible Anthology, Untold Tales of BTB, and Empire of Dirt. He works with many publishers doing illustrations and literature. Best known for mixing and merging traditional free-hand drawing, Graffiti Art, photography and literature.

During the early 1990's he created the "Hypergothics" art/writing method. Infamous in Occult Art circles, he is regarded as the 7th "Dark" from the modern branch of the Synoptic Knights Templar.

For over 25 years, he was known as an iconic agent for the infamous BTB Graffiti Art/activist group.

He now works with various Modeling Troops and Photographers, promoting surreal and macabre genres. Dark Riddle has had featured work at The Mexican Fine Arts Center, Life Magazine, The Chicago Cultural Center, The Center for Human Evolution, The Museum of Cryptozoology, The Futurism Gallery Hall, Jade Dragon Tattoo Emporium, and Gallery X of Dark and Gothic Arts.

He has worked in popular presses such as Permuted Press, LDP Press, Spellbinder Press and Time Warner Books. You can view some examples of his published print books of horror and surrealism at the links below:

"Dark Love" Trade Paper Back:
www.amazon.com/Dark-Love-A-Zom…

"Empire of Dirt": Revised Edition:
www.amazon.com/Empire-Dirt-Apo…

"Misadventures of the Undead":
www.amazon.com/Misadventures-D…

"In the Shadows of Men": Art-Book Edition:
www.amazon.com/Shadows-Men-Jes…

Current Residence: Chicago, IL
Favourite genre of music: Rock
Favourite style of art: Graffiti & Fantasy
Favourite cartoon character: Batman
Personal Quote: You can't control a situation, but you can control yourself in a situation!
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconodysseusut:
OdysseusUT Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015
Thanks for the :+fav: :D
Reply
:icondanidarkan:
danidarkan Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Student General Artist
heyy! Hi thxx!  for  the +fav   ! if you want you can check more of my work´s:

Chica's Exercise Dance (Chat Icon) happy potato happy potato 

www.facebook.com/DanidarkanCos…

Rainbow Sheep +YEJUN - Love  (Emoticon #O2) Mio (Clapping) [V2] 
Reply
:iconcayyy:
cayyy Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
In love with your style! ><
Reply
:icondarkriddle1:
darkriddle1 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015
Thanks...I don't have the high caliber art skills or professional computer art programs, but weird is good enough for me! LOL
Reply
:iconcayyy:
cayyy Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Well where there is existing talent, such things are not very necessary ;)
And yes, weird is very rad! :D 
Reply
:iconxbastex:
xbastex Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much for the fav
Reply
:iconnursissistic:
Nursissistic Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:! I appreciate the support! :)
Reply
:iconevilprincess69:
EvilPrincess69 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012  Student Artist
o_o can you draw me a tattoo :3?
Reply
:iconeigthdegreebites:
EigthDegreeBites Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fave :)
Reply
Add a Comment: